Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
