I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
40s are totally the cure
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
