As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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