Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
