I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
