I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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