you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
