And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
dude. I can hear the air.
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