who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You had me at "let me see your balls"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
