walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
