Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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