jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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