dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
