He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
True strength comes from lack of pants
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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