Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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