Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
