Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
