I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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