I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
