And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
