New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
