I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
