escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
