One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
