Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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