Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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