it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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