I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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