As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
