Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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