At least make sure they are 18
Why
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
