And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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