Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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