Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She's not a foreskin expert like you
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
