You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
