I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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