I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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