I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im six kinds of drunk right now
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
