wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
