I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Dear god my vagina.
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