Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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