im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
