Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
