I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
