Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Randomize
