the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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