ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
