I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Houston, we have a blender
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
