I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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