well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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