living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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