Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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