The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
