He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
