Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
