You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
