Your face is a jimmy john
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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