This is not my ceiling
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
